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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23128990">Sedated</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Conversations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Queer Themes, light hints about Garret Jacob Hobbs abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 07:02:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,033</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23128990</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Abigail never really got to experience crushes, or relationships because of her father. She tries to deal with that the best she can.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chiyoh/Abigail Hobbs, One sided Chiyoh/Abigial, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sedated</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Abigail had never been out of the country before. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Of all the countries Hannibal had offered, Chiyoh decided they would go to Japan. The plane ride had been quiet, and Abigail clutched her book tightly the whole time. She wasn’t nervous per se, but she couldn’t stop the persistent, anxious feeling that she was going to get caught. That somebody would realize her name wasn’t Brittney, and then she would have to answer for not only her crimes, but Hannibal’s, and her father’s as well. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Being on the run probably wasn’t the best way to see the world, but those were the cards that the world had dealt her. Hannibal had offered to show her the world, and even though he wasn’t there, she knew whose money was funding her survival. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There was no doubt her life was in Hannibal’s hands. She wondered sometimes where she would be if she hadn’t trusted him. She doesn’t regret her decision, even though her nightmares constantly taunt her, reminding her how much she should hate herself, and how she had betrayed her father's trust. Building her relationship with Will and Hannibal had really helped her feel like her past wasn’t her fault. She hadn’t done anything wrong to deserve what her father did, and in fact, he had actually betrayed </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She was disappointed when her new family had to split up.  Hannibal and Will had gone to Cuba; they called her every other day to ask how she was doing. But she understood the necessity, and she relished the time to just be herself and enjoy the freedom. Well, as free as she could be when she was with Chiyoh. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She really enjoyed spending time with Chiyoh. Even if she did miss her fathers. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Their apartment was small, two bedrooms and a den. It took her a few weeks to get used to the strange living arrangements. They washed their clothes by hand, and hung them over the bathtub to dry.  Her bed was also still taking some time to get used to. Chiyoh was always patient with her and helped her practice her Japanese in the evenings. Abigail looked forward to their quiet time. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Abigail only had one concern with Chiyoh - the small, festering, crush that was steadily growing in her chest. The quiet, stoic woman had recently started to bring Abigail presents, small gifts for her to decorate the house with. At this point,Abigail had so many toy Pokemon that she was running out of places to put them. She had called Will during the week to ask how to put up a shelf, because she didn’t want to disappoint Chiyoh by not displaying her gifts. It had turned into a three-hour skype call with Will explaining calmly how to install the shelf, accompanied by the sounds of Hannibal cooking in the background. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Abigail had never been good at hiding her crushes. Having crushes on older people in her life had always been a problem for her. Abigail was convinced her teachers had always known when she had a crush on them. In all honesty, Abigail wasn’t even sure how much older Chiyoh  was, because she never talked about herself. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The small kindnesses she kept giving Abigail felt overly intimate. Abigail had never dated somebody, but the domesticity of their current life was what she imagined dating would be like. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She wanted to ask Will about it, but she would have to find a time when Hannibal wasn’t around. She didn’t want to deal with his opinion on this. Plus, he was nosy, and would probably manipulate them to get together. Hannibal wouldn’t be able to help it - his curiosity always got the better of him these days.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>~~</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is Hannibal there?” Abigail's voice was softer than she meant it to come out, and Will raised his eyebrows at her. Skype was really useful for spending a bit of time talking to Will or having Hannibal show her how to cook something, but not so helpful when you were nervous. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He just went out to pick up some fresh produce. What’s up, kid?” Will’s voice was a low rumble, and his eyes were fully focused on her. It was one of her favourite things about Will, he always gave his full attention to things that he thought were important. It barely bothered her anymore that he called her kid, even though she was a couple of months away from her 22nd birthday. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have a problem.” Will put down his book and leaned so close to the screen so that she could clearly see the light blue color of his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it serious?” He squinted like he was already planning on traveling to Japan as quickly as possible to help her. It warmed her heart. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh..not so much.” Abigail’s eyes kept flicking to the door, knowing Chiyoh would be home from grocery shopping at any moment. “It’s a weird thing.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A weird thing?” Will looked amused, which was still new for him after all the things that happened in Hannibal’s house. Before they ran away with each other, he had been tense all the time.  He must be finally relaxing. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you know if a crush is just a crush, or if it’s something more serious?” Abigail closed her eyes, as if not being able to see Will would protect her from his judgement. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Abby, did you ever get to date before this whole...thing?” Will’s face was soft and concerned. Abigail wished she could make a blanket out of how much Will cared for her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t. I’ve never really had the chance.” They don’t talk about her dad often. Or what he put her through. How controlling he was, and how uncomfortable Abigail really felt within herself when she was around him. She knew that Will knew, but she didn’t think either of them could put it into words. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not your fault.” Abigail nodded in acknowledgement and smiled at him. She was okay. She was a better person than she was before. “How long have you been attracted to women?” The question was shocking, but she knew that Will knew who she was talking about. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I always was.” She remembered having crushes on teachers, and her friend Marissa, but she never got to explore that. Her dad wouldn’t even let her date boys, so she didn’t want to know how he would have reacted if she had wanted to date another girl. “I just haven't thought about it in a while.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Will paused. “I didn’t think I was...attracted to men...for a long time.” Abigail put her chin on her hand, watching him carefully. She had always wondered, but it wasn’t something she wanted to ask, in case it upset him. She knew that he was not small-minded enough to be homophobic, but she also knew how long it had taken for Will and Hannibal to finally get together (or what she guessed was together - they didn’t talk about their sex life, but she had seen them kiss and they were very affectionate with each other) “But, I think it was because I never explored my sexuality as I grew up. I honestly wasn’t attracted to anybody for a long time.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Abigail nodded her understanding. “I just put my attraction for anyone in the back of my mind. I had other problems to deal with.” She wondered sometimes whether her mother noticed what her father was doing. She was almost sure that she must have known. Abigail wondered if she didn’t care, or if she was just glad it was someone else’s daughter. Her mother would cook the meat happily, and eat it without any qualms. In contrast, Abigail remembers how often she would throw up after dinner, when she couldn’t help but picture the poor girl she knew looked so much like her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Will smiled gently. “I did too. I was more worried about forcing myself to fit in than worrying about if I wanted to have sex, and with who.” Will looked peaceful reflecting on how hard his past had been, and how content he was now. So comfortable now that he had found his true self, and the right person to share it with. She wondered if it was because of his sexuality, or more about how he felt covered in blood. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She had found herself covered in Nick Boyle’s blood. She had found herself in the little house on the cliff. She had found herself when she threw Alana out of the window and helped convince Hannibal and Will they should run away. She had found herself in so many things she didn’t expect. Finding her sexuality seemed like such a small thing in comparison. But, maybe it was finally time to find that, too. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think it’s weird that I have a crush on Chiyoh?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you asking if I think it’s weird that you have a crush on somebody, or that you have a crush on Chiyoh? It’s perfectly normal that you have a crush on somebody you see everyday and have affection for, Abigail. The main question is whether it’s a friendship crush, or do you have honest romantic feelings for Chiyoh?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s a difference?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Will let out a small laugh. “Crushes can mean a lot of different things. I’m sure Hannibal could explain to you the different kinds of love and affection better than I could. But, your crush doesn’t have to mean you have romantic feelings for her. It can just mean that you love her, in whatever way you feel like you do.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you and Hannibal in love? Or is it something else?” Will laughed again, something light coming into his voice. Something Abigail had never really heard from him before. He looked different suddenly. His eyes glittered when he smiled at her. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“For a long time, I wasn’t sure. I thought about it sometimes, when I would catch his eyes and my heart would thud in my chest. I threw it off, because how could my feelings for him be explained so simply as love?” He inhaled deeply, his chest rising, and let out a long sigh. “But, it is love. I am in love with him. He’s everything to me, as I am to him.” Abigail felt her eyes well up with tears and she looked down quickly, trying to hide them from him. “You say anything to him about this, and I swear... His head is big enough already.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I wish I had that.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Will nodded. “You’ll find it one day. Feel it out with Chiyoh, meet some new people. You aren’t the same person you were when you lived with your father. You will find love, and you deserve to. I promise.” Will’s voice was soft, and she leaned towards the camera and tried to force a smile. She didn’t want to upset him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Somebody cleared their throat behind her and Abigail panicked, slamming the laptop screen closed. She was sure she was going to get a very amusing text message later. She turned to find Chiyoh standing behind her, large paper bags full of groceries in her hands. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” Chiyoh’s voice was quiet as she walked toward the kitchen. The smell of peonies always trailed after her. It was one of Abigail’s favorite things. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine. What are you making for dinner?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Chiyoh set the bags down at the counter and started unpacking some fresh fish and other things. “Maybe some curry. Would you like to help me?” Abigail smiled at her and walked over. Maybe right now isn’t the moment. Maybe it could be later. Maybe these feelings are small and not so serious. She had plenty of time to figure it out. She repeated that to herself as she followed Chiyoh’s careful instructions on how to make dinner. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She knew she would be accepted by her chosen family either way. She could no longer feel the fingers of the past on her throat. Her new fathers loved her. She felt the warmth of the kitchen and smelled the soft perfume of Chiyoh beside her. She had nothing to worry about, life was good.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is, an oddly personal piece. I hope you enjoy it. </p>
<p>betaed by @vinylmurdersuit</p>
<p>find me anywhere @grantairess</p></blockquote></div></div>
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